Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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