I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
