Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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