You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
