we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
