im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
sarcasm needs its own font
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
