Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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