Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
