i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol â¤â¤ also dont tell anyone
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