This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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