Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize