Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We were destined to go to rehab together
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize