hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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