Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize