if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
