I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize