I'll bet she douches with gravy.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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