im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
These tits shall not be calmed
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