margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This is the high leading the old right now
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
