The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
