I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
