He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
