i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Pants are for mortals
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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