You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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