just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
