Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
