I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
