I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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