he shaved USA in his pubs
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
