I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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