Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I had to cum in my sink.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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