We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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