Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
