i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
