Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
People in love make me want to vomit
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
