Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
