so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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