Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
