look no pants
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize