Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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