I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i think i have two assholes
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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