I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
