Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He kissed a someone with a penis
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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