I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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