So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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