I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
