He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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