just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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