Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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