I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
