and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
