try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
