Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize