shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
