we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
