I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
