two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
