I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
