Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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