Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize