Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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