So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
