conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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