she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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