the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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