when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
