i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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