ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
