She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
