I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
