Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
